What didn’t say but wanted to that day is haunting me. Greif takes time, processing what takes place needs to be done slowly. When emotions run high and your shoulders are already baring so much weight, you need to step back and breathe. I didn’t step back fast enough, I didn’t shut down the emotions and answer or reply with just the facts. I was hurt, I was angry, I was being attacked from all sides.
The one that started the war drew in others because they could not fight alone. I didn’t even know there was a battle coming. I was at a disadvantage in both numbers and understanding. I didn’t understand this person was waging a war against me in the background for months. I was not aware anything was happening or that I had wronged anyone in their opinion. Too late I realized it didn’t matter that they were wrong. It didn’t matter that they had assumed something and were incorrect. They didn’t want to be right. They just wanted to fight and blame.
The pain of it all comes from the fact that once again those that should have your back do not. I know understand they never will. It was a dream land, a fantasy to think they could every be more than what they actually are. Months have gone by and I simply can not speak of the pain. The heartache this has caused but also I do not have time or resources to waste on this. This feels so insignificant in the grand scheme of what is now my life.
So I will say this here and now and be done with it all. What I didn’t say.
Being racist and homophobic is not politics. It’s hate.
Being against wearing a mask is not politics, it’s selfish.
If you believe being gay is a sin, then you are telling me you look down on my daughter.
You assumed something, you were wrong and even after explaination you and your friends continued the attack.
For months you hated me for something I didn’t do, yet wanted me to do favors for you.
I have always been in your corner, fighitng for you, loving you, trying to do everything I could.
I gave even when I didn’t have much to give.
That is all. I have nothing more to say to you now, I likely won’t have anything to say again.
Life right now is hard enough without these petty social media wars that people make up in their mind. Careful when you attack someone. Careful when you post things that may actually hurt someone you don’t want to. Be mindful of the battles you pick. You may end up losing something you can’t replace.