The Other Side Of Me
As I sit and watch the sun give way to the moon,
I can feel it inside, the caged woman will emerge soon.
For so long now she has laid to sleep, in the deepest parts of me,
She can hear everything, and there is nothing she can’t see.
From her place, in my mind and heart, she awaits,
for the time when she must emerge and change the fates.
Do not mistake my silence thus far for weakness or fear,
I have simply kept this side of me enclosed, but the time is near.
She will once again stand up , and shake off the dust which is you,
and once again, she will shine through.
For I can only hold her back for so long before she comes to light,
sometimes I hold her back only a little, others with all my might.
Strong, and able to stand alone is she,
soon you will understand, all this time, she was me.
Simply kept at bay to keep things calm, easy going,
little did you know of the anger and hurt you were sowing.
Now what will you do, when she comes forth to speak,
when at last you and the strongest, darkest part of me meet?
Wishing Upon A Star
I wished upon a shooting star,
to always be where ever you are.
I wished together we could watch the skies,
to always see through your eyes.
I wished for each day to be filled with fun,
to always bask in the warmth of your sun.
My life was forever changed when they placed you in my arms,holding you tight
You looked up at me with your big brown eyes and it was
love at first sight.
Your beautiful brown eyes, your tiny hands,
that is when our adventure began.
The Dr took you from me to make sure you were okay.
My heart was exhilarated, and broke all in one day.
Just minutes old and they took you away from me.
Told me there was something wrong, they needed to see.
What felt like years passed and they returned.
The news they gave me,made my heart burn.
Your son has a heart condition and he is week.
Surgery and further medical assistance we shall seek.
I kissed your tiny hands and your tiny face.
For the worst they told me to embrace.
Hours later they come to say
Your son is a fighter he is going to be okay
Now almost ten years have passed my beautiful boy
I know how lucky I am to be able to watch you simply play with a toy.
My lil man, my lil fighter, dont you give in.
If anyone can fight this fight its’ you,and you will win.
For you have more life and more love in your lil hand than most
I know for you in life you will not simply coast.
You were meant for brighter bigger things than this my dear son
Your life, your adventure has just begun.
My lil man will be 10 years old in October. Not bad for a lil guy that was not supposed to make it home with me. If ever a person or child had a fighting spirit it is this lil guy. I love you baby man.
Nothing more painful
Or heart breaking
Than learning you
Never mattered to
A person who meant
The world to you.
As though you were
Merely a wind up toy
They turn the key and
Watch you for amusement
You tell yourself one day
They will miss you
They will come to see you are so
But that is not the realization that happens…….
You come to see, they were never worth all you gave. Which hurts more than being invisible.
You rest upon the stone wall of my being.
Not all knowing, but all seeing.
All seeing of what happens outside of me.
Lacking the sight to inside see.
Rest upon your cold stone wall.
Fearing that you will ever fall?
Hide your thoughts and your heart.
Waiting for the rain to mask your falling apart.
Downpours from nature you make your own tears.
Sadness, anger, disappoint, from past years.
Perch upon the wall of life, hide from the rest.
The rain will come and then you can cry about the past.
Stone in heart as stone in mind.
Escaping the need to love, to ever be kind.
Sit upon your stone throne safe and sound.
Make sure you share not your heart, until no one is around.
The next rain is upon the horizon, there you find release.
The rain comes, floods through, hurt.. unleash.
Some day I hope you become human, melt your stone layer…
Before the world stands above you, proud to be your slayer.
I can feel
I can feel you change in my heart.
Not understanding why,tears me apart.
It is hard to ignore,when patterns change.
Can’t turn a blind eye to seeing change.
I’m in the dark for the first time with you.
This hurts,I am left without knowing what to do.
I feel you slipping away,almost gone.
I’m Sorry for where ever I’ve done wrong.
Sea of Chaos
Bound by the need to succeed
Lost is the warning “take heed”
Behind a wind carrying the foul stench of the beasts breath
Before lays the path you ride to certain death
To the right one that refuses to feel
To the left one that will never heal
What say you to what path you stride?
Thinking thoughts you thought long ago died
Those soft eyes encase such hate
Nothing more then a loss, a losing fate
Then the gentle eyes of the one loved so dear
Always the urge to keep that soul near
What say you to which way you will turn?
What say you… which does make you burn?
Need not to answer this request for it is well known
The only way to walk is the path alone
From the ashes of a broken heart
Crawls forth reasoning for the part
Derived from the flicker of passion
Walking onward in dark fashion
Falling from the high
Loves limits, the sky
Crashing on the ground below
Rising from friend, a foe
Trust so hard to give
I wish not to live
Hold me down
Shut off the sound
Light hurts eyes
Blood on your hand dries
Beneath your foot
My heart, smeared in soot
In your evil hand
My mind banned
To ask why’s
Is to get lies
Leave me be
Let me see
Your true soul
Black as coal
Be gone oh demon
Pass on oh demon
Let me rest
On the moons crest
Rise from this I will
Your memory I kill
Walk away no looking back
You put on a good act
You saying sorry means nothing to me.
I don’t want to hear more lies,Let me be.
Every word you say falls on deaf ears.
Every “I’m sorry” falls on empty heart, like my tears.
Nothing you do,nothing you say.
Will ever replace or take the pain away.
I no longer care how you feel.
I’ve left you in the past,no longer a big deal.
I won’t look back,I won’t see you.
Only looking forward, seeing the new.
The sun is so bright,the flowers in bloom.
Amazing how much color in place of your gloom.
My Teddy Bear
Snuggle my Teddy while he sleeps, making not a peep.
Just to be close,to feel his warmth.
Never looking back,deny past to come forth.
For in his arms, is promised serenity.
In his embrace, I feel free.